I think I've been asking or relying too much towards U. That's probably why when something strange did changed, I felt upset a lil for not having a person whom I comfortable to share with. I just feet like I can't do my usual daily rants to anybody besides classmates and U.

I feel so numb. I can't figure out what emotions I am feeling. Seriously, it does not have to do with hatred, sad, missed, love or anything. And the best word is numb. I just don't know if I am really feeling the pain or disappointed with myself. I guess people around me really taught me some lessons. Such as to be pushed around and when I fall, I don't feel anything as I know I don't lost my value yet. And, to make big effort to understand why people make me sad. Besides that, they are also the ones who keep on making me strong for myself to stand up back right from the spot and not from the starting line.

I feel independent for once. But somehow, when I know I am doing fine, I knew that some part of me are still missing. Like when I knew who to look out for whenever a good or bad thing is on my shoulder. I don't deny, I do missed that, although the numbness overcomes that 'missing' feeling. Well, I don't deny that I am trying to stay away from this so that I won't hurt or upset U for my own wrongdoings. The best for me is to stay away from U,for your own good.

Go and find someone else! Go and find someone who can heals U. Go and find someone who can make U feel happy. Go and find someone who U think can accept the whole U better than I could. Go! Go! Go and make yourself happy without having someone like me.

U know very well how numb I felt... I __________...=(