Just no matter what I'd did, U will nvr feel happy or satisfy abt it.
Why,mum??

When I have the time and no other matters to be done, U said U didn't need my help anymore. But when I didn't contribute my help, U will said that I am being selfish. U think that I don't want to help? U think that I don't have my part to do my chores? U think that I am just being lazy and keep on fooling around with my girls? U think I don't feel like I am a totally failure?

I have feelings like U do. I have always wanted to help U. But, the moment I do, U will spout out all the sentences that I don't wish to hear at all. Sometimes, I feel so helpless and hopeless daughter as I didn't play my part as a real kid. I have ever been so busy with sch which always ended up going back home late. I wish and want to help U enlightening up the hard chores and etc. But do U think I even have my time to do so during weekdays? Pls, I don't even have time to even sleep right. How else I have the time to even do the usual chores? I know I can't be defiant towards U. But the more U tell me all these things, the more I feel so hopeless. I don't know how to say things towards U. I am afraid to create more sins if I said what I wanted to wrongly.

Let me answer U these, I don't fool around like I used to do back in the past. I would normally study my ass off at outside since I could consult my friends if I need their help. I want to prove that I am not a failure like I used to do. I want to prove that I can do it like how Fatin, Syahirah and many more that I can do it. I want U and dad to have faith in me. But I feel that U and dad think that I am wasting your time...I wish to help U in any ways I could.But I have to ignore all these so that I could focus more towards my studies. Yes, I am being an ignorant person

Maybe I am hopeless.

I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart, ibu..=(